So this [Chasing Francis] is what I’m reading at the moment. (OK, this and Night World.) I’ve been meaning to read it for a long time now and I’m just at the beginning. But you know that feeling when you start to read something and you just know, this is going to be good for me? I got that feeling with the first chapter. Here’s a quote from that first chapter:
“Why do I have this sneaking suspicion that I’ve been reading from a theological script someone else wrote? Is this my faith, or one that I bought into as a kid without really thinking about it? Why do I feel ashamed that I have doubts and questions about stuff? My faith used to be so full of life, now it all seems so beige. It makes me madder than you-know-what.”
I’m not even going to go into all that says at the moment (other than it’s amazing how easy it is to hear the words “beige faith” and completely understand). But I do want to talk more about it as I get further into the book. So over the next few weeks I’ll probably come back to it.
Anyway, so my mother is coming to visit. Which is great news for me and I’m so glad. I’ve been in desperate need of seeing my family. I know Jeff’s realized this–since he’s the one who basically called my mom and let her know that it would be really good if she could come visit right now. 🙂 I think it’s just human nature that we often don’t see what we need. Or if we do, we try not to ask for it. The last two days, Ashtyn has told me when she’s ready for her nap. Usually, she fights this (you know, pretending to be wide awake even though she’s moving around like a zombie). But for the last two days, she’s just let me know it’s time for her nap–get her paci, turn on the music, and lay her down already. (Let me just say that this method is great.) Anyway, it can be harder for us adults to know what we need or to ask for it. But that doesn’t make the need go away. It just stays there, draining the life out of us. So anyway, I’m just so glad my mom’s coming to visit. It’s really nice to know that if I call my mom or my dad or my sisters and say “I need you to come,” I know they will. (And in this case, Jeff decided for me.) What I’m getting from the beginning of Chasing Francis is the main character’s need for change. And the fact that when we ignore that kind of thing for too long, it can erupt in a huge and messy way. Like I said, we’ll come back to it soon.
Btw–today is Michelle’s (BFF) birthday. So it’s a special day. 🙂