So I went to a church moms’ group the other day and one of the topics of discussion was how we go about making decisions. The woman leading the discussion at our table asked how we make a decision and my friend Heather answered, “Logic.” (That was my very favorite answer.)
So that night I asked Jeff about it (b/c part of the discussion was how we–meaning us and our husbands–make decisions together). I think the way we (me and Jeff) make decisions differs according to the situation. He and I are not the type of people who pray about everything. (That’s totally fine for people who are–it’s just that we’re not and I might as well be real about that.) I can think of lots of times when I seriously prayed about decisions–like moving out to Colorado. However, I needed to give an answer to the company that was hiring me like the very next day or something. So my prayer was very serious and heart-felt and needed to be answered fast. Do I think we chose correctly? That we did what God wanted us to do? Yep.
When Jeff wanted to make a job change, we prayed about it. And it seemed like the right thing to do (and we know it was). But for these times I mentioned and lots of others, some reasoning went into it that sounds like this, This is a great opportunity for you and I love you, so let’s do it. This is important to you and you’re important to me, so let’s go for it. I do believe that God directs our paths and we should pray for His will and so on. But I also believe that where we are is not as important as what we’re doing. Because knowing God’s will is just a little tricky sometimes, you know? Like someone saying “I have peace about this so I know it’s God’s will.” Or “Everything fell into place so I know it’s God’s will.” I’m sure this is true in many situations–but what if there’s something I should do that I don’t have peace about? (Jonah comes to mind.) Or everything falls into place, but maybe it’s still not right for me? I’m really careful about saying I know something to be God’s will–because so often I have no idea what He wants and I’m just trying to do the best I can.
Anyway, for me and Jeff, when it comes to deciding something, we usually talk things through. And one of us usually has a stronger opinion (or more logical) than the other person. Sometimes we just both automatically feel the same way about things (that happens a lot)–and even if it’s not the most logical thing, we know we should do it and so we do. And sometimes we just look at it from different angles and ask whether this is the best thing for our family–or whether it’s just something we really want to do. And usually whoever’s sounding the most reasonable wins out. This happens to be Jeff most of the time. (Sounding reasonable. Not necessarily winning out.) 🙂
There have been times when I’ve fasted and prayed about something and still didn’t magically have an answer by the time I needed one. In those cases, I have to believe that God is honored by my desire to follow His will–and then I move forward and make a decision. I read the book Prayer by Phil Yancey and something I took away from that was the fact that prayer can be more about changing me, than it is about getting a yes or no answer.
So for me, logic usually plays into my decisions. If I felt that God had a script for me to follow that is my life–making any decision would terrify me because what if I went in the wrong direction? And I married the wrong person? Or I moved to the wrong place? I’m not that great at following directions. What if I misread what God wanted for me?
All I can do is try to be who I’m supposed to be where I’m at right now. And trust that wherever I am, God’s there. Even if I do go in the wrong direction–I guess it’s not the end of the world and God can use me there, too.