Stuck

So do you ever feel like you just need a vacation from your life? Like maybe you should drop everything and start living in a fantastic cottage somewhere in Scotland where you have charming neighbors and a really pretty Christmas wreath for your front door.

I know. We all have those days/moments when we just look off into the distance and imagine a different life. It’s not that you really want to exchange all that you have for that different life–just maybe a week or two would be enough to refresh and inspire you. I was thinking that maybe this is one reason why writers write. It gives them the chance to immerse themselves in a different world/life for just a little while.

Escape is the word I’m looking for. 

We’re trying to sell our house at the moment, and as you know, it’s not the greatest time to try to do that. Which is so frustrating. Because when you’re ready to be somewhere different–you just want it to happen. It reminds me of when I decided I was ready to be pregnant. I wanted it to happen fast. Once you’re ready–it’s all you can think about. So while we wait for the house to sell, I try to avoid feeling stuck, but it’s not easy.  I know it’s important to be content with where you are. I don’t think that’s the problem. I’m not disappointed with my life whatsoever. In fact, I feel so lucky to have a sweet husband and a little baby and a job that involves doing what I enjoy and a family that’s loving and supportive and all those great things. So I don’t know if it’s discontentment as much as it is restlessness. Like I’m supposed to be somewhere and I’m really anxious to just be there already. You know the feeling.

Vacation is not in my immediate future. Jeff’s starting a new job. Flying with Ashtyn is not my favorite thing to do and she doesn’t sleep well in hotel rooms. You can see how that whole “stuck” feeling is creeping up on me.

My friend Kelsey and I were talking the other day about things that make us feel happy. (For example, we’d both just had our hair cut.) Anyway, we were talking about the fact that the smallest things can suddenly make us feel so much better. Like new nail polish. Or a new purse. I mean, a trip to Scotland would be great. And that’s probably in my future somewhere down the road when Ashtyn is actually able to say more than three words. But isn’t it crazy how just buying some new eyeliner can make your day? (Or lipstick, or shoes, or a new book, or one of your favorite movies, etc. Do you have ideas?)

I don’t know if buying something new is the best remedy to feeling stuck, but it helps.

Did I mention I just got this new super-cute yellow purse? Well, I did.

Talking about The Shack

Well, I finally got around to reading The Shack. So much of my time is spent reading unpublished manuscripts that sometimes it takes a while for me to find time to read the published ones on my list. Anyway, I didn’t start reading with any expectations. I’d heard a few things about it and read a few blogs, enough to know that The Great Sadness stemmed from a really sad and disturbing tragedy. Lately I’m just low on my ability to handle reading about that sort of thing without falling apart, so I decided to start about halfway in. I read a bit of the beginning, then skipped over the upsetting parts and onto the main character’s encounter with the Trinity.

I found the story to be so comforting. And I was sort of wishing that God would send me a letter and meet up with me somewhere just to talk. I know that He’s given us the Bible and He’s supposed to be with us everywhere we go–but does it really feel like that? Like the Bible was written just to me? And of course, it wasn’t. Me and billions of other people. Which is okay, but it sounds so nice to have a letter from God just to me. And knowing God is around us all the time is sometimes comforting and sometimes frustrating. Because when something terrible happens and you ask the question “Where was God?” and the answer is that He was right there, letting it happen–well, that can be frustrating . . . and really confusing.

That was something I appreciated so much about The Shack. We could visualize God being there with Mack’s daughter throughout everything–calming her down, holding her through the whole thing. Don’t you hope that’s how it really works? That God is there, holding those people who are hurting or scared, and that His presence is strong enough to get them through it? I hope so. People have asked me if I thought there was anything sacriligious about the book–and I honestly can’t see that there is. I can tell you something that really moved me. There was this one part where Mack asks God/Jesus if all roads really do lead to Him (in other words, does it really matter which faith you choose?). He answers Mack by saying “No. But I’ll travel any road to find you.” (Okay, that’s me paraphrasing.) I had to read that paragraph over and over because I just loved that realization. I think we can easily forget that aspect of God’s character. And when so much about Him is confusing, I need to be reminded of that part of Him I can understand and absolutely appreciate so much.

Every time I’ve seemed to turn around lately, I keep being confronted by stories of atrocities people (children) have experienced. I can’t tell you how draining and doubt-inducing that can be. In fact, I was at my desk this past week and had to set aside a book proposal because I was crying and feeling sick and so shaken. And the fact that there are no good answers–well, it makes me frustrated when people even try to come up with answers, because none are good enough. And so when a story like The Shack comes along, where the author isn’t so much giving us an answer as he is giving us a glimpse into who God just might be, what might be going on–it’s not surprising that so many people connect with it, myself included.

I think what so many of us are missing is that personal connection to God. Like a letter that He wrote just to us, like time reserved just for helping me deal with what I’m going through. Even if there are no answers, that personal attention matters. Like in the book of Job, where God doesn’t really respond to Job’s questions with compassion or patience–but His response at all tells Job that He’s there, aware of what’s going on, still in control, and He hasn’t forgotten him. Just that can be comforting–at least to me.

So, to sum it all up, The Shack is a great book. A lot of people seem to say that, but with the disclaimer that it’s not great, literary writing. But I don’t care so much about that. Because when a message spreads like wildfire and resonates with readers–that’s more important than sentence structure and vocabulary.

Yeah, so it’s been a while . . .

Well, I suppose it’s been a while since I posted. I really am the worst person ever when it comes to blogging or twittering or updating my status on facebook. The only thing I’m consistent with is email and that’s because of work really. But seriously, twittering every time I step outside of my house or turn on the TV is just not that appealing. My life is not that interesting.

Anyway, so what’s going on over here? Well, we took a quick trip to Texas, which was fantastic except that it was about 104 degrees every day. Seriously. I think for those of us who grew up with that sort of humidity and heat, it may be just slightly more bearable. But I really can’t imagine growing up somewhere like Colorado and then moving to Texas. Don’t get me wrong. I’m a loyal Texan. But the humidity and heat can be overwhelming. So it was fun, just hot. And now we’re back. We’re never there long enough to do all the things we’d like to do, which is unfortunate. But seeing my family is always my priority and that’s what we were able to do this time and it was great. Of course, Ashtyn was the primary attraction. Everyone adored her, naturally. I mean, come on, she’s adorable.

Sara wasn’t there this time around since she’s married and everything and living in Virginia. So I really missed seeing her. Laura and I were able to spend time together scrapbooking, which is something I like but never seem to have enough time to do. So having sister time and scrapbooking was extra fun.  I like photo albums and scrapbooks because I’m just not that great at remembering stuff. Jeff and I were in Europe the year before we got married, and I made myself write down what we did everyday. I’m so glad now because I wouldn’t remember anything by this point. Despite this fact about me, I’ve never been one for consistent journaling. I had maybe two journals from when I was younger and I threw them both away right before I got married. I scanned through them and realized that nothing I’d written was anything I really needed to remember.

I read this great quote today from Pride and Prejudice. “Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure.” That’s great advice. But for some reason, it’s those unpleasant things that often stick with us, which is also unfortunate. But I think it’s true that as time goes by and the distance between you and those memories gets larger–they become easier to ignore and sometimes even easier to forget. At least, that’s how it is for me.

Anyway, next week we’ve got ICRS in Denver and I’m super excited about that. And what else is going on next week? How can you not know this? Harry Potter releases!! Yay! I cannot wait. So I’ll be in touch after and let you know how much I loved it.

Questions about questioning faith

So I read this blog post yesterday that really stuck with me. Go here to check it out: Losingmyreligion

Here’s a quote to get the general idea: “Last fall, I finally moved past guilt and admitted to myself that I no longer believe in Jesus or the god of the Bible. Surprisingly it was a relief. Not because I wanted to run wild and sin freely, but because I no longer felt the weight a Christian carries. The weight of guilt, unworthiness and fear of god’s judgement. I continue to spend my days striving to be a good husband, father and son. I help others in need around me as often as I can. The big difference is I do these things today because it brings me joy, not because I believe it brings an imaginary god joy.”

Wow. I read that and felt–I’m not sure what. I appreciate his honesty. I think for people who’ve been “in the faith” for so long, that kind of honesty isn’t so easy. Maybe that’s a small part of what he’s getting at when he talks about the weight a Christian carries. Here’s the thing, I wonder how many people–Christians–experience these exact feelings but feel too much guilt or fear to say them out loud. I know there’s supposed to be freedom in Christ–but, and I’m just being honest here, sometimes it doesn’t feel that way. There’s fear too. And reaching that place where you are truly honest with yourself (and everyone else, another tough one for some Christians) is a difficult journey. The guy who wrote this post included 20 reasons for why he’s abandoned his faith. I can tell you that more than one of those reasons are a part of that unspoken-avoidance section of Christianity.

I know I’ve asked a few of those questions to different people before and the answer is usually something like “We can never understand God. His ways are not our ways. We just have to trust Him. He sees the big picture.”

And that’s true. It has to be. Because I don’t understand all 20 of the reasons (and more) that I just read. Most of them are really disturbing. And I don’t think anyone can rationally give me explanations for things like reason #3. But the fact alone that He’s God means He sees everything–and that includes the small picture, right? Not just the big one. The small, everyday picture of our everyday life.  

Then there’s that fear factor. Maybe it’s ingrained in us, I don’t know. Maybe it’s just a healthy fear of God. To me, His existence is not a question at all. And that means He’s bigger and stronger than me and everyone else and I really don’t want to upset Him. But does questioning the basics of faith upset Him? I hope not.  I think the usual answer to this is that He’s big enough to handle our questions and He wants us to ask Him. But then there’s that other fact that in Scripture, He’s not always totally cool with people questioning Him. So which is it?  

Hmm. Hard to know. I think for some people, taking a hard look at these kinds of questions leads to a really uncomfortable place that they just don’t want to go to. So they avoid it, and seriously, I can’t blame them. And I’m not saying they’re wrong.

Then there are people like this guy, who wrestle with the hardest questions. He’s come through this and decided he doesn’t believe anymore. So would it have been better if he’d never even gone there to begin with? Or would that level of faith (for him) have been shallow and based on only thinking of God in ways that he’s comfortable with? I don’t think there’s a right and wrong answer here; but for some of us, never questioning, never admitting that sometimes everything doesn’t add up–these things don’t go hand in hand with having an authentic relationship with God. And I do believe that there are people (Philip Yancey and Brennan Manning, for a couple of examples) who have truly wrestled with the most unattractive and scary parts of who God just might be–and have come through it with more faith than before. It can happen. And that’s so comforting to me. 

I read this guy’s post and can understand where he’s coming from. And I can understand where he ended up. But for me, it all starts with truly believing in the existence of God. That’s the starting point. If I believe in God (which I do), then I want to have more of an opinion of Him than just ”the Force” in the sky. That’s where the journey can get tricky. Because knowing someone personally who absolutely never speaks audibly to you (at least not to me) can sometimes feel really one-sided. But that’s just how it is. I think faith involves crossing that barrier and being okay with it. But I also think questioning the role of faith in our world is inevitable for some of us. And while God may not be thrilled with the questioning (I really can’t say how He feels)–I do think He’s not someone who writes people off because they feel unsure or afraid or really, really frustrated. And I think there’s plenty of evidence in Scripture for that. I know He’s more patient than we are and more tolerant (and if you think He isn’t it, then mercy and grace means something different to me than it does to you). So I don’t think He runs when we feel like we’ve hit a wall with our beliefs. There’s a beautiful hymn by Fanny Crosby that says “Help my unbelief.” That part of the song has always been my favorite, because even a woman of faith like Fanny Crosby had to pray about her unbelief. And hearing that tells me that she wasn’t afraid to be real with others and real with God.

And for me, that’s what it’s all about.

Sick Sick Sick

So let me tell you about last week in the Bruce home. I was surrounded by sick people. Jeff started coming down with a cold last weekend and it only got worse, and Ashtyn started feeling sick on Sunday and that only got worse too.  Let me just share the highlights of this awful week with you. Things weren’t looking so good on Tuesday. I took Ashtyn to the pediatrician because she’d been throwing up nonstop and I was worried about her getting dehydrated. Jeff was sounding more and more like a frog, so he went to see our doctor on Tuesday.

I’ll just tell you a little character-quality regarding my husband. He’s kind of a germ-freak. Really. He’s all about using antibactierial gel as often as humanly possible and cleaning everything with clorox and such. And the moment things like “swine flu” start being talked about, the antibacterial gel doubles in our house.

So he goes to our doctor and the women at the desk hand him a mask and ask him to please wear that while he’s waiting. Jeff notices that absolutely no one else has been asked this. He alone is wearing a mask. So he’s sitting there and every person who comes into the office looks at him with terror. People sit as far from him as possible, as though he’s stricken with the plague. He coughs, since that is why he’s there, and this older man jumps from his seat, rushes to the front desk and loudly asks the women there, “Have there been any cases of swine flu in our area?”

Hmm. Like the lone guy in the mask? Poor Jeff. If they only knew that he’s more careful than most. Still, I couldn’t help laughing out loud at the thought of my masked husband scaring everyone at the doctor’s office.

Later, Jeff and I take Ash to see the pediatrician. Apparently a stomach virus is going around and lots of kids have been sick. We just need to keep her drinking fluids and she’ll be fine. Great.

The only problem is that she’s worse. By Wednesday she’s not throwing up anymore, but she’s not quite herself yet either. And then Thursday morning she wakes up with a 102 fever. Now I’m panicked and I call Jeff and try to tell him this calmly. Because another quality of my husband is severe paranoia when it comes to Ashtyn. I tell him that she’s got a fever and I’m leaving to take her back to the pediatrician.

We get there right before they close for lunch, so they send us back to see the doctor. Her fever hasn’t changed so the doctor is checking her out and trying to see down her throat. Obviously Ashtyn hates this and is wiggling and screaming. So while he’s trying to check her throat, she gags and vomits EVERYWHERE. That is not an exaggeration. It’s all over the table, the floor, me, her–you get the idea. The doctor has to recruit help to clean the tiny room–because I really do need help. So there are three nurses and myself trying to clean up the mess. One of the cute nurses (and they really are nice and helpful) starts yelling at another cute nurse not to step in it, it’s everywhere! Right. Glad we’re ALL freaked out. So after I’ve tried to wipe off my arms and Ashtyn’s entire body–the nurses send me to a clean room. The doctor comes in to finish the exam and tries to talk to me about Ashtyn while she’s screaming as loud as she can. I’m trying to understand but having to nod and just guess on some things because having a conversation at that moment really is impossible. And since Ashtyn will not calm down, the inevitable happens. She decides to throw up again, all over me. The doctor visit is coming to an end quickly.

Clean room is no longer clean.   

End of story, we go home and keep giving her fluids and trying to keep her cool and by the next morning she’s doing a little better. Her fever is coming down. So we just keep doing what we’ve been doing. By Friday night her fever is gone–but now her temperature is around 96.5. Hmm. Is this normal?  I’m thinking. To go from really hot to abnormally cool? We call the nurse and she says that it’s probably just dropped because her fever finally broke–but to keep an eye on her because 96 really is too low for a baby. Later in the night she reaches a little over 95 and I’m trying not to panic. We keep adding clothes on her and checking her temperature even though she’s exhausted and just wants to be left alone.

And finally, by Saturday morning, her temperature is getting back to normal. Ashtyn was still exhausted though and slept as much as she could. Jeff’s taking antibiotics and is very slowly getting better. And I’m somehow untouched by the sickness. I hope it stays this way for me.

It could have something to do with the antibacterial gel in every room (that I’m strongly being encouraged to use).

 

http://alphainventions.com/opinion.xml

Weddings during snowstorms.

So! Sara and Nehemiah are now married. The wedding was beautiful, the bride looked gorgeous, and it all went off mostly as planned. I say mostly, because, well, no one really anticipated a snowstorm back when this thing was being planned. Sara had decided on a destination wedding to Colorado Springs so everyone could enjoy beautiful Colorado, they could get some awesome pictures, and so on.

And the day before the wedding . . . this happened.

Correct. A snowstorm. Lots of snow and super cold weather do not make for easy wedding conditions. Especially when all the guests are flying in from out of town. Still, I must say the wedding was still a monumental success. Because the weather came and we were all forced to just roll with it and at the end of April 18th, 2009, Sara was officially Mrs. Hanson, and everyone was smiling and happy and feeling blessed. And if I’ve learned anything, I’ve learned that it’s impossible to plan every detail of a wedding. Something unexpected (or dreaded!) always happens. And it rarely matters afterward.

The church where Sara and Nemo married is in downtown Colorado Springs, Shove Chapel. It’s amazing. And the reception had this Jane Austen-type theme going on that was fabulous. The bridal party even had to perform this Jane Austenish dance at the very beginning of the reception. Let me just say that I am not the world’s greatest dancer. And being coordinated in front of lots of people has never been my strong point. Still, despite these problems, everything was just so fun. It was one of those weddings where you sigh afterward and think, This was such a good day. And maybe part of the happiness and satisfaction comes from seeing a couple like Sara and Nemo receive blessings from heaven. It’s hard to find a couple with more integrity than these two. You can’t help but admire and respect them–and love how they truly admire and respect each other–and see the strength of their individual and combined faith. It’s easy to be happy at weddings where all of that is being celebrated.

And after crazy blizzard weather Friday and Saturday–during all of the driving and last minute details and rushing around and problem hair appointments and missing unity candles and taking the fastest family pictures ever because it was freezing–well, Sunday morning the weather was absolutely glorious. And that reminded me that some things are just out of our control. And it has to be that way, and it’s really okay. It doesn’t really matter. I think of seeing Sara and Nemo saying (and signing) I do–and I know that April 18th was a perfect day in every way that does matter.                                                                                                                                                                                               So the wedding has ended but the marriage has just begun!

The whole idea of what’s in our control and what’s not is something I’ve been wrestling with lately. Because at times it feels like no one is in control of anything, and that makes everything feel like chaos, and that makes me uneasy. I don’t think it’s so hard to surrender to the idea that God is in control–because with that belief comes the relief that someone really is in control of this messy world. But what if sometimes it just seems like no one is in control? I think that’s harder to accept because there is no relief that follows that concept. Maybe that’s where faith comes in.  Believing that there’s some sense of order even when there doesn’t seem to be any evidence of that. I’m not really sure.

Regardless, I’m reminded that there is indeed lots of good in this world, and that is a relief in itself. And a blessing.

Being Still

Do you ever have those days where you lounge around all day and by the evening you start to feel as though you’ve wasted time and been completely unproductive? The other day I spent most of my afternoon just sitting on the floor with Ashtyn, watching her play and trying to keep her out of trouble (she can’t crawl yet but she’s pretty good at dragging herself around. It’s so cute.). Anyway, when Jeff came home later that day I complained to him that I hadn’t really done anything that day and you know what he said to me? He reminded me that we’ll only be able to play with Ashtyn like this for so long. The changes these kids go through happen so fast. She’s already so different from when we brought her home from the hospital. And it occurred to me that it’s hard for people to just be still. We’re so used to being busy, that when we’re not–we feel useless. I have a feeling this is unhealthy. I once read this quote that said something to the effect of ‘At the end of your life, no one ever wishes they’d spent more time at the office.’ I’m always surprised by people who say things like they have no regrets because the choices they made have made them who they are. How can you have no regrets? How can you not regret hurting people? How can you not regret things you’ve said? How can you not regret choosing the unimportant things in life over the important things?

I know I have regrets. Memories of things I’ve said or done that weren’t the right choice or that ended up hurting others. As much as I can, I want to avoid the regret of placing less important things in front of Ashtyn. Or Jeff. Or the rest of my family and friends. Because when everything is stripped away, it seems to me that it’s only our relationships that matter.

So I want to work on being okay with being still. Not worry so much about whether I’m wasting my time. I think I should be worried about wasting moments. Times when I get to hold and feed Ashtyn. Talking to my sisters. Just being with Jeff. Time seems to be going fast for me. My sister turned 26 yesterday and it shocks me. I can’t believe it’s been around seven years since I graduated from college. That I’ve been working at my job for going on five years. I don’t really mind getting older. I have Jeff and Ashtyn and people who love me and grow older with me. But do you ever fear that you’ll turn around and ten years will have passed and you’re not sure what was so great about those years? I wonder how I’ll feel when I turn forty. Will I look back over the ten years behind me and feel like they were full of life and special memories and times of personal growth? I hope so. I don’t want to look back and think that I really should have considered rearranging my priorities. Or feel like I don’t know my family or that I’m not involved with the people I love.

Jeff’s reminder brought me back to reality. That Ashtyn is growing fast. That time is passing quickly. Spending it together is never a waste. It’s the very best thing I could be doing. That this is my priority. That I would regret not spending days just playing with her or talking with Jeff or reading a great book. (Okay I threw that in. I’m in the middle of the Twilight Saga and pretty crazy about it.)

 To me, being still, or quieting your spirit, is just another way of slowing down and taking stock of who you are and who you want to be. At the end of my life, I know I’ll never wish I’d worked more or worried more. But I hope I’ll be content with who I am and not be overcome with regrets from choices made. And that starts early–being intentional about becoming who I want to be. And that’s someone who realizes that the people I love mean more than anything else. Growing as a person is important to me. Doing good for others matters to me.

It’s snowing outside right now, just so beautiful. And I’m going to practice being still and enjoying this moment.

Blog tour and interview with author Laura Jensen Walker

At 35, Paige Kelley is feeling very “in between.” She’s still working her temp job after two years, still not dating three years after her divorce, and still melting at every chubby-cheeked toddler she sees while her biological clock ticks ever louder. Paige even moves back home to help her ailing, high-maintenance mother.It’s not exactly the life she’d dreamed of!

When her book club members urge Paige to break free and get on with her life, she’s afraid. But a trip to Scotland and a potential new love interest help launch an exciting new chapter in her life, and lead Paige to discover that God’s plan for her promises to be more than she ever imagined.

Could you tell me a little about your inspiration for Turning the Paige?

Well, ‘Paige’ is the second in my Getaway Girls series, (DARING CHLOE was the first, about a woman who gets dumped the night before her wedding, which I wrote about from personal experience, although my dumping–which turned out to be a really good thing AND a God-thing–was thankfully a full week before the wedding. Anyway, in looking at the other girls in the book club, I found I really wanted to learn more about Paige. She wasn’t so front and center as some of the others and I wanted to unravel her story and shed a light on her–kind of a slight twist on the sandwich generation, except Paige’s sandwich is missing the second slice of bread (children-which she desperately wants.) I’ve also been wanting to go a little deeper with my fiction, and Paige’s story allowed me to do that.

What do you love most about writing and when did you know you wanted to be a writer?

The delight of discovering the story as it unfolds. Although I know my
beginning and usually a general idea of the ending of my novels, all the
stuff in between is as much a surprise to me as it is to the reader. How fun
is that? And I knew I wanted to be a writer in Miss Vopelensky’s
first-grade class when I read 103 books.

Out of all your books, do you have a favorite? Or a character you relate to
most?

Such a hard question–and I know other authors have said this before me;
it’s like asking a mother who’s her favorite child How can she pick?
However, having issued that disclaimer (by the way, the only child I have is
a canine ‘daughter’ Gracie) let me say that certain books do hold a special
place in my heart.

My first novel, DREAMING IN BLACK & WHITE with Phoebe Grant, was the
culmination of a lifelong dream: to write fiction, so that book will always
be special to me. (Besides, a lot of Phoebe is me: her old movies obsession,
her being a reporter and writing obituaries–my first journalism job.’)

RECONSTRUCTING NATALIE is also very special to me because it’s the story of a young woman coping with breast cancer and I’m a 17-year breast cancer VICTOR, not just survivor.

And in TURNING THE PAIGE, my wonderful Renaissance-man husband Michael was a lot of the inspiration for Marc, so I have a soft spot in my heart for Paige also. (By the way, for you Phoebe Grant fans, you’ll be happy to know that Phoebe makes a cameo appearance in TURNING THE PAIGE

I’ve just finished the edits on my third Getaway Girls novel, BECCA BY THE
BOOK (releasing Jan. 2010) where I got to let my inner snark run wild. Becca is very, very sarcastic, so that was pretty fun and freeing

What books are you reading at the moment?

For sheer escapism because my family has been going through some difficult times lately, Eclipse, the third in the Stephenie Meyer vampire series that all the teenage girls love. Although I haven’t been a teenage girl in many moons, I’m gobbling up the books. (LOVED Twilight. And no, I’ve never had a thing for Dracula or vampires. Ever.) But it’s a page-turning escape, which is what I need right now. Also, on my nightstand is Sarah Young’s devotional, JESUS CALLING.

 

As a fan of Phoebe Grant myself, I have to say that Laura’s personal, hilarious, and touching style of writing makes her characters relatable and real. How many women can relate to the opening line of Dreaming in Black and White, “My thighs were at it again”? This new story about Paige Kelley takes us on a new and exciting adventure. And that’s what we’re all looking for, right? A little adventure in our lives. A hope that God’s got a plan for us, too. A desire to go a little deeper in our relationship with Him. Laura understands those hopes and dreams and captures them in a story we can all enjoy. Check it out.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0310276985/

A New Perspective on Publishing

So I recently read an article about publishing that I highly recommend: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1873122,00.html/

Let me give you an idea of what this is all about. The article begins by talking about Lisa Genova, a consultant who wanted to get her novel published but couldn’t get anyone to give her the time of day, much less a contract. She paid $450 dollars to have it self-published. The short version of this story is that she received an offer from Simon & Schuster for over half a million dollars and her book ended up on the NY Times Best-seller list. You may have heard other stories like this one. Eragon by Christopher Paolini. And most recently, The Shack by William P. Young.

Now, I wouldn’t say the trend of self-publishing is going to replace regular book publishing. If you want a contract (and the blessing of an advance) you need a publisher. And if you want what you say to be said as well as it can be, you need an editor. So understand that I’m still a firm believer in book publishers (being an editor myself). But I would say that publishing is evolving, like everything else, and accepting and acknowedging this is crucial for everybody involved. This article spurred some great conversation among our editorial team. We acknowledged the fact that this is a generation that gets what they want, when they want it. The emerging generation is made up of individuals who can text at lightening speed, who download music, audiobooks, TV shows, and whatever else on their iPods, who blog about anything and everything, who maintain virtual relationships via online social networks like Facebook (who doesn’t, seriously?). According to this article we’re talking about, “you can turn a Word document on your hard drive into a self-published novel on Amazon’s Kindle store in about five minutes.” In other words, anything is possible.

The stigma against self-publishing is nothing new. The idea has always been that if it was good enough, an agent or publisher would pick it up. I think this was true for a very long time. I also think publishing is changing; it fluctuates just like our ecomony. And it gets harder and harder for publishers to feel confident in taking risks. Karen Kingsbury is not a risk. She’s going to sell, definitely. Max Lucado is going to sell. And for good reason. They have something to say and thousands of readers who are ready and eager to read whatever that is.

Let’s go back to that earlier thought for a minute about whether something is worthy of being published by a reputable house. Consider the fact that–and this really is true–the standard of “good enough” is flexible. And that whole “good enough” standard merges with “can sell” in publishing and they’re almost equal. Strike that–they are equal.

Let’s say a teenager who loves to write starts a blog where every week she posts a chapter of a novel she’s writing . Her friends read it–maybe even a few people who just stumble across it. What do I get from this story? Well, a girl who loves to write is doing it. She’s writing. Maybe she doesn’t have a huge following–but maybe that doesn’t matter to her. I really doubt Christopher Paolini started writing because he could see in his future that Eragon was going to change his life. He wrote because he had a story he had to get out. It seems to me that most writers write because they love it. Because it’s something they want to do. They have something to say.

One of the concerns about the idea of self-publishing becoming more acceptable is the fear that the quality of what we read is going to suffer. I can understand this concern and it’s real. But to those people who are worried about that, they should take a walk through any bookstore and notice that there are thousands of books, and really, in some cases quality is already suffering. I would worry less about what’s available to read and concentrate more on finding what’s out there that really is worth reading.

So, self-publishing–where is it headed? Well, in my opinion, for a generation that’s used to getting what they want and getting it fast–I’d say that being held back by the gatekeepers of publishing isn’t attractive or necessary. Not when they can have their novel on Amazon in an amazingly short time.

Take a look at how this article sums up the new perspective on self-publishing:

“None of this is good or bad; it just is. The books of the future may not meet all the conventional criteria for literary value that we have today, or any of them. But if that sounds alarming or tragic, go back and sample the righteous zeal with which people despised novels when they first arose. They thought novels were vulgar and immoral. And in a way they were, and that was what was great about them . . . Somewhere out there is the self-publishing world’s answer to Defoe, and he’s probably selling books out of his trunk. But he won’t be for long.”

Anniversaries and Valentines

Remember back in elementary school when buying valentines was a big deal? The first major question was what kind, then–far more important–who’s on your list to receive them? (Of course, I think most moms make their kids give one to everyone they know, to avoid hurt feelings and all that.) Well, Valentine’s Day is coming up. And even before that, my wedding anniversary is February 8th. And I’m wondering why it’s so hard to come up with something creative to do! One year Jeff and I went to a restaurant, beforehand we’d each written a list of ten things we really loved about the other person and we exchanged lists at dinner that evening. That was sweet. Last year I burned a CD for Jeff with all the songs that have been special to us, and called it the Jeff and Brandy Soundtrack. He liked it. But it gets harder to think of creative things to do. Especially when you have a five month old who’s most likely going to be with you on both occasions. So if you’ve got ideas, please share.

What I like most about these days, however, isn’t the presents and definitely not the pressure. But it really is so nice to feel loved, isn’t it? To receive flowers and chocolates and cards that tell you you’re special to someone. To know that you are someone’s valentine. That’s what I like about this holiday. Jeff and I usually try to combine our celebrations since they’re so close together. Our very first Valentine’s Day as a couple was back in 1999. I was away at school in Virginia. Jeff flew out there for the weekend and brought me such a nice present. A gold ring with three hearts (that my sister helped him pick out ). I gave him the book Guess How Much I Love You? It was by far one of the most special Valentine’s Days that I’ve experienced. When we were married in 2003, Valentine’s Day ended up being the last day of our honeymoon. We were in Maui and we made dinner reservations at the restaurant at the resort. I was really excited because the restaurant was doing something special for the holiday. (I can’t remember what! I just wanted to go.) And I had a special dress to wear.

And that afternoon I started feeling sick. Really sick. The food-poisoning kind of sick where you think you will die.

So it’s my honeymoon and I’m in the bathroom, crying and throwing up, and Jeff is timidly knocking on the door, asking if I need him.

Only one week into the marriage and he gets to experience me being so sick that by the end of the night, I was so weak he had to carry me to the bathroom so I could throw up. Needless to say, the reservations were cancelled, the champagne was put away, and I wore pajamas all night instead of my special dress.

And it was still okay. We ended up with takeout and ordered a movie on demand and it was still a pretty memorable Valentine’s Day. Maybe not the most fun, but definitely memorable. And I still felt so loved because he took care of me. And that’s what it’s about. Feeling loved and loving others. (And chocolate doesn’t hurt.)

So I’m all about the romance around this time of year. It’s good stuff.