Marriage and Fishsticks

So my husband, Jeff, does most of the cooking in our home. Mainly because of our schedules. As I was driving home from work one night this week, Jeff called to tell me that he was making fishsticks for dinner. I told him that was fine with me. Half an hour later when I walked through the door of our house–a bit tired and having a headache–I stood in the doorway and started to laugh. The fishsticks were on the stove. I asked Jeff how many he had made. He turned around confused for a moment, and then replied that he’d made the whole box. Forty-four fishsticks. … For two people. I was laughing again, and then he was laughing. And I thought–this is one of those great early-marriage stories.

I love being married to Jeff. I love that we ate maybe eight fishsticks out of forty-four. And I mostly love that the two of us can still find so many things to laugh about together. It’s just one of those things that makes marriage so much fun.

This coming weekend is the Writing for the Soul conference in Colorado Springs. I’ll be working all day Saturday and I’m already looking forward to hearing Robin Gunn as the keynote speaker at dinner that evening. Being around lots of people who love books and writing is just fun for me. I’ll let you know if I come away from the conference with any words of wisdom!

Forgiveness

 

I’ve been thinking a lot about grace lately. Giving it and receiving it and how much easier one of those is in comparison to the other. If I really think about it, I’m accepting grace all the time. Sometimes from Jeff, sometimes from my family, sometimes from my co-workers, and absolutely all the time from God. But giving grace to people is quite a bit harder.

I’ve been reading Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott and I came across a chapter that has meant more to me than all the rest (at least, up to this point.) Maybe because I can understand and relate. Anne’s talking about someone she considers her “Enemy Lite”–a single parent of another kid in her son’s class. The woman doesn’t seem to even realize they are enemies, of course. But Anne has her reasons, and to me, they sound reasonable (the woman wears latex bicycle shorts for one). However, at this point in her life, Anne is being taught the value and importance of forgiveness. She’s reminded that Luke chapter 6 says “Forgive and you shall be forgiven.”–and that there are no loopholes to be found in that passage. It’s our only option. We have to forgive–and extend grace–to everyone.

I read that chapter–as she goes through the process of trying to forgive, and reaching that moment of epiphany that the grudge she’s holding is hurting her. That God has been so gracious to forgive her time and again, as Anne puts it, “It’s like the faucets are already flowing before you even hold out your cup…”–and as I read that chapter, I thought about how hard it is to forgive some people. Especially the ones who don’t care about being forgiven.

It’s just hard, right? There are people who hate other people just because. There are people who hurt innocent people because they can. There are people who stand by and do nothing against injustice. There are people who are just indifferent. And–this is a big one–there are Christians who don’t represent the rest of us well, and that’s just infuriating. But…you know…there have been times I haven’t represented Christ well, and there will be more. And still, that faucet keeps running.

Forgiveness and grace–two major elements of the Christian faith. They sound simple. But incorporating those two words into everyday life is anything but. Still, I read back over Luke chapter 6, and I realize I have to try. If I really believe what I say I believe–then forgiveness and grace have to be a large part of who I am.